bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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