Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
