ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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