I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
