Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
