i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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