i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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