Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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