a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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