I hate all girls vehemently.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
