remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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