fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
