Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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