I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
