Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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