people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
