I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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