I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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