Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
