Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
