Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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