you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Do vagina's smell?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
