i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
