i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Randomize
