Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
