i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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