im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
