What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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