Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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