hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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