When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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