last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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