It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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