You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just cut my nipple shaving
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
