like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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