"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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