I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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