Sry I called you an 8
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
