This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
