So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
