You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
