Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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