I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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