I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
