i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
did you just send me my own nude
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
