that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
