you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
