I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
