8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
