eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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