By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
