First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
